Do you have trouble making friends? Unsure how to make others like you? You want to show others how likable you are, but they have to see what's great about you in subtle ways. How will they know you're interested in them? What will make them want to get to know you more? what subtle things make someone start liking you as a person? Want me to let you in on a secret?
You have some pretty interesting and great qualities, but others just don't know about them yet. So to help you with that, here are six tips to make others like you.
Number one, ask questions to show your interest.
Do you forget to ask follow-up questions to whom you're speaking with? You're in a deep discussion and you're definitely interested in what they have to say, but how can they know you are? Social psychologist and professor at James Madison University, Natalie Kerr, wrote in a Psychology Today article that research shows that people who ask more questions during conversations are perceived as more responsive and are better liked by conversation partners. A good point indeed.
Wouldn't you get the impression that your friend is actually interested in your story if they ask to hear more? The next trick is to actually actively listen to them and ask follow-up questions when you're curious about something.
Number two, show you're trustworthy and keep your promises.
Are you trustworthy? Do you keep your promises big and small? According to research, trustworthiness is very important to others when it comes to relationships.
A 2007 research study from researchers at the University of Singapore, Arizona State University, and the University of Florida found that trustworthiness was an extremely important value in relationships for people.
The study states, "Across different measures of trade importance and different groups and relationships trustworthiness was considered extremely important for all interdependent others." So next time you make a promise, it's a good idea to keep it. It will show others you're trustworthy and they may just like you more for that too.
Number three, give genuine compliments.
When you think of something nice about someone, do you often let them know? Do you compliment others when you get the chance? It may just make someone's day. The reward theory of attraction is a good example of how others may start to like you more when you make them feel better. The theory states that people will like those who they associate rewarding events with. Or if your behavior makes them feel rewarded, then they'll like you more for it. If you're often in a good mood and in turn make them feel better, that's a reward.
If you don't shy away from complimenting them when they've done something kind, that's a reward. They'll simply feel better being around you.
Number four, let them know you exist and be around them more often.
Do you want someone to like you? Well, they first need to know you exist. According to the mere-exposure effect, the more we're repeatedly exposed to something, the more familiar we become with it and people will start to prefer the very thing they're more familiar with.
So make yourself be heard and seen. Stay around for those coffee conversations during lunch break, invite some people out to an event you're going to, and let people develop familiarity with you.
Number five, but friend their friends.
If you have a shared friend, you already have something in common and perhaps an easier way to get to know someone. This is similar to the triad IQ closure. If there are connections A to B and B to C, then there is a likelihood of the connection from A to C to be created as well. So if you really want to be friends with someone and realize you know someone they're friends with, let them know. You'll not only have something simple to both relate to, but you may also have a better chance of becoming friends with that person as well.
Number six, let them know you like them or enjoy their company.
How often do you let others know you like them? People have an easier time liking someone who likes them back. So let them know you appreciate them. Let them know you enjoy their company or give them a hug or a wave when you see them next. They'll have an easier time liking someone who they know genuinely appreciates and likes them back.
Wouldn't you want to know if they liked you? So which tips will you use when making new friends? How will you let others know you appreciate them? Will you give out genuine compliments when you think of them?